Self Portrait 4

Here is one of those massive updates that I promised you. Overall everything is coming along nicely. It is already a good painting. Now I just need to bite the bullet and make it a great painting. It's a bit unnerving being on the brink of good and great. I know I have the talent and knowledge to do it, it's just a matter of action. Despite this I am going to take a day to read and instill upon myself the supreme confidence this painting deserves. I also believe a bit of soul searching is needed to make this a true self portrait, what subtle visual cues can I add to make it really me.

Slight distortion from the camera, but no matter. The figure is firmly grounded in an environment and compositionally sound. Now for the detail work, oh how i loath thee. Adjustments need to be made for nearly the entire piece. Highlights, shadows, imperfections, edges, all that stuff. So yea guess who is thinking about starting a new painting rather than finishing this one.

Obsession of the form

I am still working away everyday, but I have forgotten my camera consistently the last few days, so for today I present to you another rant and tomorrow the massive update of my work. This rant is something I reclaimed from an old sketchbook so my apologies if its a bit disjointed, but yea thats how my mind works. On to the rant then.

In general people possess innate desires. To achieve a happy life it is necessary to identify these desires and work towards them.
What if they are weird or unethical?
In such an instance society forces the individual to adapt and suppress. Society is inherently restrictive of human chaos for the benefit of the whole.
Censorship-separate issue.

My desire is not unethical, simply not accessible 100% of the time. I desire the feminine form, the body, the curves. For the longest time I assumed this was a primitive sexually charged desire, but no, not solely. As a healthy young male that desire exists, there is no doubt, but that is only an amplification of the source. I truly desire the experience of the form. The subtleties of touch. It is something I have yet to fully understand or satisfy. I believe my answer lies within the realm of the artist. It is one of my strongest motivators.
A pleasant extension of this desire is the connection to the mind. Selfish enjoyment of the physical form is significant yes, but it pales in comparison to the mind. A reciprocal  understanding. Not that superficial wanting, no. The words themselves mean nothing. I need an honest return.
Could this be love?
In part yes, but not entirely. Love is much grander. For now I speak on much more raw terms. I want that carnal base enjoyment. My experience is the only proof I can really trust and understand.
How do you project such a powerful and complex feeling?

Breaking down the issue. What of the body without the conscious mind. That is the everyday. That is what I am weaned on. The random form that catches my eye and holds my attention. To indulge these brief temptations isn't exactly ethical, voyeurism. Because of societal norms I comply. This is why people commit to a relationship. Mutual obsession. Consensual experience. The stage of infatuation.

Defined:
Running fingertips down the curve of the back and across the hips
The play between shadows and light 
The gentle stretch of fabric  
Unconscious and entangled

It is an appreciation that boarders on worship. I worship the utter perfection that is so natural. I don't need any of these artificial enhancements. I run my hand through her hair and get lost in her eyes.
How can I convey this sincere appreciation to my viewer?
Create the experience. Is it possible?
This is all a skewed over-romanticized version of what really is. I am over-romanticized cause it is much more appealing than the real world.

Leopard Commision

It has come to my attention that I had long ago promised to complete a painting of a leopard for a close friend of mine. Fear not my adoring public, I have not lost steam with my self portrait. One simply needs to acknowledge the value of maintaining friendships and connections, for it is those that are most important, especially in the art world. As it is a straight living room piece made for aesthetic value, I don't foresee this piece consuming too much of my time. That said I will still approach it with the same vigor and dedication that I do all my work. If anything I should put more work into this one since it will go out into the world and be a face of my work.

I messed around with various compositions and finally fell upon this one. I took inspiration from the Romantic era, my favorite =3. At the moment I have only partly developed the tree trunk that will dominate the picture plan because it was just so seductive as a subject. The colors and texture begged me to paint it. I will start work on the leopards during my next session.

Self Portrait 3

The work continues, but it is too slow for my liking. I must seize this moment of inspiration and light a fire under my brush. This is always a weird stage in painting for me. There is so much work to be done and I can see the final piece peeking out. I find myself too often just staring at the piece reassuring myself that the composition is sound and a beautiful painting is emerging. I am a bit afraid to continue for fear I will ruin it and push away any potential genius.

Despite this I enjoy this in between moment. Someday when I have a more masterful control of my technique I want to create a piece that makes full use of all the painterly texture. The dripping solvent, the thick brushwork, the bold color patches, a painter's wet dream so to speak.

 At the moment everything seems to be playing nice still, unlike Pandora who is still sitting in the corner. There are some glaring proportional issues with the arm and hand, but that is not worth the worry it will be fixed in the next hour of work.

Self portrait 2

I feel good about this one. I'm not quite sure what it is, but everything is going good. Now I just need to stay on task and make sure it doesn't run away from me. My professor told me to make sure I maintain the relationship between the foreground and the background or the composition could quickly degrade.

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I'm pleased to see that this familiar subject was really easy to get. Maybe I'm more vain than I thought. More tomorrow

Self Portrait: Twenty Five

My Pandora series continues to misbehave so I put it in the corner for now till it decides to play nice. In the mean time I have begun work on a self portrait. It has been a while since I made one so I am definitely due for one. Also I have the feeling it will be a pleasant milestone for later in life when my body has deteriorated and my fame is overpowering.

This is one of those pieces where I am working on pure inspiration which is a really awesome cycle. I feel the need to create without any research backing the work. I have no idea where this composition came from, all I know is that I need to paint myself as some sort of general overlooking his battle plans. I threw on a face vest, set up my camera and away I go. I plan to put something on the table edge, but not sure what it will be. Proportions look a bit odd, but I was good and used a grid so I'm just gonna say foreshortening is messing with me again and ignore it.

Pandora #2

I have been working hard to maintain my manic pace of work, but the other day I hit a conceptual wall. I was painting away progressing nicely when I stood back and realized I made a wrong turn. Everything looked completely wrong all of a sudden. Painting is sneaky like that. I did my best to fight and work my way out of it. They were not hearing any of that though. After a few hours of thought I decided that I lacked the substance behind the paintings. I was so excited to get back into my work I forgot what it means to properly research. If you go into a piece with an empty mind, its going to show. On that note I got some reading to do, but here is where I am right now.